Chaizing Fireflies

How we got started...

  On September 30th, 2020 I gave in to the pain I had been experiencing in my right knee and went to my Primary Care Physician. We did X-rays and a few rounds of cortisone shots that had little to no effect on the pain. So she set me up with a referral for an Orthopedic Surgeon.

When my MRI results came back showing how much damage had been done to all 3 compartments of my knee, my new Surgeon wasted no time scheduling me for surgery. On October 20th, 2020, pain took on a whole new meaning for me, it is called a total knee replacement. 

6 weeks later, I returned to see my Surgeon for my follow-up appointment. He had, beforehand, warned me that for the first 6-8 weeks after surgery, I would hate him. He was not wrong. He gave me even more reason to dislike him that day. He told me that his prognosis of me returning to my long-time career, as a restaurant general manager, was very slim. 

Anyone who really knows me will share with you that I can be very stubborn. It is a personality flaw. Because of that flaw, I held out just a glimmer of hope that I could return to the days of old. To those countless hours of standing, squatting, & running on those mind, body, and soul-crushing floors, of every restaurant I had ever had the pleasure of working in. It wasn't that I loved or hated my jobs, it was just what I had done for so long, it was how I supported my life and part of my children's lives for many years. It turns out that habits are hard for me to break and if there is one thing that I do not do well, it is quitting. It's just another one of my personality flaws.

I was taught early on in my life not to put all my eggs in 1 basket so I dabbled with the idea of making and selling candles. A hobby, if you will, that I could play with, while I was recovering and until I went back to work. I started to enjoy my hobby, it gave me the freedom to be creative but also to sit when I needed to and allow my knee to heal. Toying with the idea of starting a candle company, joyfully trotted through my brain often. Although, thoughts of my career were still front and center of what I thought was going to do with my future. That was until my left knee let me down.

On August 26th, 2021, any aspirations of returning to work that I knew, died with my left knee, as it was replaced. To say I was depressed would be a very mild statement to make. I felt very useless, hopeless, and dependent. At the age of 47, I had had 2 surgeries that only older people normally have to go through. I was aged and old in my mind. I had little to no love for myself anymore. Needless to say, it was not a good look for me. I knew I had to do something to pull my head out of where it was residing and I started feeling like I needed to do something with myself. This is where my hobby basket, which held just a couple of my eggs, came into clear view. I settled on my starting line. It had to be something I loved to do, something that wouldn't punish my body but that would keep my mind engaged and my body more active. 

Today, I am very thankful for my grandmother continually telling me about my eggs and my basket and for her saying "This too shall pass" every time I was down. She is the voice in my head, pushing me onward. She is the reason I can not quit. My motivation for starting Chaizing Fireflies Candle Company comes from strength and courage.... it comes from my childhood and those who taught me to be stubborn and unwavering.

Where did that name come from...

   As a child, I remember running through our backyard trying to catch the elusive glowing lights that darted at a moment's notice. What was once here, is now there, and then, the chase was on. The thrill of actually catching that little bug was exhilarating! It was also terrifying because I knew that I had to be very careful not to injure my little captive. Thoughtfully, cupping my hands around to protect it, just long enough to reach Grandpa standing there, holding the jar, with his big smile and proud expression, every. single. time. He & my Grandmother's reassurance, guidance, and strength are why my self-confidence has survived all these years.

My baby brother, Christopher, was just too small to catch the fireflies, although, he tried so hard. I remember his frustration and disappointment but I also remember his excitement, as I came running with another little glow bug to add to our collection. Catching the fireflies was the goal of the moment. As I recall, my grandpa cheering me on and my brother's squeals of delight were equally important to me. My brother knew that later, even though he didn't do the actual catching, he and I, after watching the fireflies for a bit, would take off the top of the jar and watch as they all flew into the night sky. It wasn't the catching or the chasing, that I enjoyed as much as it was the releasing. 

These are some of my most treasured memories of my childhood... of my grandparents and my brother. They have all since gone on to become my guardian angels. My memories of those times are so much more special to me now. I feel it very fitting to not only honor my memories of those days gone by but to also chase my dreams like I did the fireflies all those years ago. 

I know my grandparents and my brother are cheering me on!

I invite you to see where my dreams have led me.

Come, Chaizing Fireflies...

Dawn