About this Product
“Dying Young Was Never Your Strong Suit” Card
Brutally honest birthday card for the aging and still semi-alive.
Front Message: Well. Now you can cross “dying young and having a good-looking corpse” off your list.
Inside: Blank – for your own list of things they’ve failed to age gracefully at.
? Why You’ll Love It:
The perfect card for the friend who’s aging like… a fruit, not a wine
Delivers just enough existential dread to say “I love you” with a side of dark humor
Works great for birthdays, milestone meltdowns, or anyone who peaked before 2010
? The Specs:
Printed on premium, hand-cut 120# cardstock (basically luxury snark)
A2 size (4.25" x 5.5") folded
Blank inside so you can fill it with affection or more insults
Includes a matching A2 envelope
Wrapped in a compostable protective sleeve
Ships in a rigid, recycled mailer (unlike your spine)
